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Life after divorce

Adele Wilde

Counsellor and Psychotherapist
Perth, Western Australia

If you are going through a divorce you may already be aware that it is one of the most difficult things you can do in life, even if the separation was an amicable one. For many people separation and divorce can be a painful business. Divorce brings up many emotions and feelings that surface when faced with loss, rejection and uncertainty.

People who are going through the breakup of their marriage can experience feelings and emotions such as anger, despair, sadness, guilt, loneliness, disbelief, fear, and anxiety. Some may feel numb or be disconnected from feeling. Often there is an accompanying sense of shame and embarrassment; a sense of deep failure when a marriage ends.

Other responses to the trauma of separation and divorce include physical pain and somatic illnesses, mood swings, fatigue, depression, weight gain or loss, nausea, poor concentration and sleep problems.

The decision to separate may bring major changes in the lives of all family members. Children are especially vulnerable as their lives have suddenly become less reliable, which in turn can result in a child feeling anxious and fearful, (especially of abandonment), confused, angry and lonely. The transition into a new family life situation can initially seem frightening and be unsettling for a child until a new, and often very different routine can be established. Children will sometimes feel rejected by the parent who has moved out, or may feel that their loyalties are divided, feeling pulled in both directions by parents whom they often accurately perceive to be in battle with each other.

Learning how to manage life after divorce can be hard. You are possibly now faced with issues that in the past were not issues to be considered with the same emphasis or significance. Areas that can cause stress and worry are those concerning child custody/ access, separating finances, new living arrangements, children's schooling and/or day care arrangements, thinking about new work hours or studying for a new career, and often learning to cope with less financially. Often when moving to another area there is the added concern and challenge of making new friends and networks. All of these new considerations can at first be challenging, if not exhausting especially when coupled with the range of emotions you and your family will possibly be experiencing.

Counselling during and after separation and divorce can help you deal with these issues and any new feelings you are experiencing. An experienced therapist can support you through these difficulties, helping you to regain the strength and confidence you may have lost since your marriage ended.

Divorce can be an opportunity to rediscover ourselves, what is currently important to us in our lives, and perhaps the chance to look forward to new and greater things not before imagined. Recovering from the emotional blow of divorce, although painful, can in time be a strengthening and rewarding experience, a challenge and a time of exceptional growth.

If you would like more information or help, Adele can be contacted by telephone or email.

Phone: 0439 324 703


Adele Wilde
Counsellor and Psychotherapist

Mt Lawley Counselling Centre
13 Alvan Street
Mt Lawley Western Australia 6050

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